Why is something that should be so easy so hard? Whether it’s relationships, expectations, or old habits. The more we try to let go - the more we seem to hold on to it. But how can we truly let go once and for all?
GIVE YOURSELF TIME
No matter what you are trying to let go of - to do so, you really need to be ready first. There is no point of forcing yourself to be over a relationship, if you still haven’t processed it properly yet. There is no point in forcing yourself to ditch your unhealthy habits, if you’re not in a headspace where you are truly ready to change.
First ask yourself whether you still need some time. True change comes only when we’re ready, so if you don’t feel ready yet - get ready!
Do you need to get something done before you can let go?
Sort out your feelings or give away all your snacks? No matter what it is - get ready for the change you’re wishing for yourself.
WHAT IS IT REALLY YOU’VE BEEN HOLDING ON TO?
Whatever you are trying to let go of, there must have been a reason why you’ve held onto it in the first place. If it’s a relationship, there might have been feelings of being loved, being valued. If it’s unhealthy habits, maybe it was a way to deal with stress. Find what it is really that you’ve been holding on to and why. Maybe there is a way for you to feel the same way, but through another source. But please make sure it’s something that is good for you. Whether it’s feeling loved by friends and family, or relaxing in a bubble bath...no matter what it is, make sure that the change that you’re making is good and healthy for you, so it won’t be another thing that you’ll want to let go of next time.
BE OK WITH NOT BEING ABLE TO LET GO
You can never force yourself to feel something that you don’t feel. It might sound paradoxical, but to let go - first you must be ok with the fact that you’re not able to let go yet. That way you already let go of the judgement around how you feel. Judgment creates resistance and you don't need any more of that.
JUST LET IT BE
A great analogy for letting things go is to rephrase the statement into ‘let it be’. Letting go often feels like loosing the thing you've been holding on to. Like opening your hand and dropping something valuable. There must have been a reason you’ve been holding on to it, so letting it drop feels like losing control. But letting it be is like having something in your hand, palms up, and all you have to do is just opening your hand. Nothing drops. The thing you're letting be just stays there until its ready to move on by itself.
Don't forget, no matter what you're letting go of (letting be!) - you don't have to delete it from your life or your past. Whatever it was, it served a purpose and you'll be always able to look back at your past self and remember it. And if it's painful memories you're letting be, you'll always remember that you can overcome any difficulties & that is truly something wonderful to remember.